Last weekend the gals in my extended family (aunts, cousins, in-laws etc.) had a girls night out with a baked potato bar for dinner, mint brownies for dessert and plenty of laughing to burn it all off. Here are a few gems that were said that night, thanks to the great documentation of Kathy.
"I hope she told him he didn't have any balls!"
"My mom's bum is voluptuous."
"Who would want to name their kid DIESEL???" "Um, me?""I had brain therapy."
"Oh, I plan on having orgasmic labors."
"Hey, pregnant lady."
"I love to cuddle with people. But not my husband. But their feet have to be clean."
"Friends that are women just suck the life out of you."
"All pets should be named Fluffy, Spot, or Rover."
"I hate you more than Cami!"
"So, my mom tells us that we're going to Nauvoo. With Aunt Opal pooping in a bucket in the back of the car."
"I don't have gypsy blood."
"When the Parade of Homes was in our neighborhood, my mom would run out and convince people to come see our house."
"It's a 'cabin.' It's the 'Elder Family Lodge'."
"It doesn't matter. I'm not the jealous type."
"She's just friendly and she's hot. She's 50 and she's hot."
"I jiggle my dad's belly. He has no bum."
"Did you take your nerd pills today?"
"Lindsey, have you had your butt kicked today?"
"My dad wants us to move in the polygamist house. So, I guess we'd be the new polygamist family."
"You are cool. Like Debbie."
"He was so Russell-like."
"And then, 25 years later, she starts lashing out against cheese pizza."
"I'm going to force my kids to have fun my way."
"I love my feet. They're sexy, actually."
"As a matter of fact, I am! I'm amazing. I have beautiful wrists. If you like my wrists, you should see my feet."
"One of the things I like about myself is that I'm humble." "I'm humble! I left it out!"
"I taught him in my shake-it class."
"Was he living off government cheese in a van down by the river?"
"Whatever! She said 'balls' first!"
"I like my firm foundation. My bottom's not firm."
"I like that I'm my mom's favorite."
"Your wedding. That was such a sad day."
"Let's close with a prayer."